

I was reminded recently of this while reading The Pilgrimage by Paolo Coehlo. In it, the guide tells the pilgrim that enthusiasm is the most accessible version of agape love, and yet, it is still something that most of us are disconnected from. This was not exactly something I had ever connected to agape, and I was a little surprised and even perhaps underwhelmed by the writer’s assertion that enthusiasm = agape. I use agape as a beacon; in my mind it is huge, all consuming, great. Enthusiasm (initially) seemed a little, wah-wah.
But I’d really gotten so much out of the rest of this book, so I started to get curious about why I personally felt so let down by the link between enthusiasm and agape. The narrator talks about how most adults are completely disconnected from enthusiasm, which we all had in abundance as children. This resonated with me, and in fact, threw light on a narrative that I have about myself which I realise has been neither true nor kind to myself.
For some reason, I associate enthusiasm with mania. I have an internalized aversion to enthusiasm in myself, because I have a narrative about myself that goes something like this, “I can get really enthusiastic about things, but then I get way too intense and then my enthusiasm flames out and there’s another thing I didn’t follow through on.” This is followed by, “It is much better to be even-keel, realistic and measured in all my actions. This is what is acceptable. Enthusiasm looks bad on me.”
This is all still conceptually new for me, so I’m just beginning to peel back this onion on my relationship with enthusiasm. I am asking myself, what if I were to welcome and cherish my enthusiasm for things? What if I stopped trying to repress and channel it into more realistic actions? What if, instead of decoupling enthusiasm and logic, I considered them as mutual helpmates? Would I indeed be experiencing agape in a more accessible form – a form I have been denying?
What about you? What is your experience with and perspective on enthusiasm? Do you engage with it or do you have a hard time accepting it? What are your thoughts about it being a version of agape love? Let’s chat about it together in the comments.
*My unhealthy go-to methods of emotional suppression/repession (also known as defense mechanisms) are narcotization (using things/experiences to ‘numb-out’ – like watching the same show over and over again to stay tuned-out to my current emotions and feelings) and intellectualization (intellectualizing my unhappy state by understanding why I am unhappy, and subconsciously demanding that I not feel unhappy emotions just because I understand where they come from). Defense mechanisms aren't necessarily bad things, but they can be really amazing red flags once we learn to recognize them. 'Oh I see I am watching Downton Abbey for the 14th time. What's going for me right now that I feel I need to zone out from?'
